Have you ever just sat on your bed and realized how fucked up everything is. You just realize that you’re not near good enough for anything.
Your grades are hopeless and you can’t seem to get them to improve no matter how much you try. Sitting in class having no idea what’s going on is a really horrible thing. It just makes you feel hopeless. You realize that your family doesn’t really even care that much. Your mum and dad don’t love each-other? Your mum and dad don’t like each-other. They’re only together until they have enough money to be independent. How about your friends? Those few friends you actually really have, would they understand? No. Imagine trying to see past your own flaws, trying so hard to be so confident and happy with your appearance and getting knocked down each time. No matter how much time is spent getting ready for school in the morning, you’re always the same ugly, weird girl that everyone hates. But then you actually have to start to think “everyone hates me, yeah that’s okay, I understand, I hate me too” and that, that fucking hurts. So you know what you decide to do? Take it out on yourself. You drag a fucking blade across your arm to what? Feel something. Something different. Something to escape all this other pain you have. Want to know the hardest part but? Once you start, stopping is hard, so very hard. I know my problems are nowhere near as bad as some other peoples but, I just need a way to express myself. Because keeping it in is even unhealthier than feeling like this.